I was at a car rental agency in Singapore for my birthday, when I saw a white Mercedes-Benz sedan with an odd, bright-yellow paintjob.
“I thought, ‘That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve seen all day,'” I said.
The Mercedes was parked on the street, its windows open.
I was looking at a photo of the car’s interior.
I couldn’t find the license plate on the car.
I clicked on it, and a white sticker appeared.
It read: BIZZARE CAR MODIFICATIONS.
The car, a Mercedes-AMG C300 AMG, was a white car with an orange roof.
The yellow sticker, with a picture of the interior, read: CAR MANAGEMENT.
I asked why.
A man with a Mercedes salesman’s mustache told me, “The paintjob is the car, and the car management is the paintjob.”
I asked the man what kind of car he was talking about.
He said it was a “Bizzaran car,” or “badass.”
“Bizaran,” a car manufacturer, is a slang term for “bad” or “ugly.”
The term is derived from the carmaker’s motto: “If you want to be Bizaran, then you should paint the car!”
In other words, the paint job is just the car itself, and should not be associated with anything else.
“That’s a bad car,” I said, “and it’s probably illegal in Singapore.”
But the man said he was just doing a job.
“You can go into the paint department and they can do something to it, like clean it, remove the paint and change the color,” he said.
I told him it was wrong.
I called the company and told them that the car I was trying to rent was a Mercedes and that I’d like to have the car repaired.
“If I’m not the owner, then who is?” the man asked.
I then asked the Mercedes dealership if they could help me get a Bizzaran paint job done.
They said they were happy to do it for $5,000.
A few days later, the Mercedes salesman, a woman in her 50s, came to my hotel room to give me a ride to the car rental store.
She handed me the receipt and said that she would pay for the car with my money, and then took off her clothes and went inside.
The dealership man came out and asked if I wanted to buy the car for $7,500.
I said no, because the car is in a poor condition.
“We can do the Bizaran job for $10,000,” he told me.
I went back to the dealer and said, I have $8,000 to give him.
He told me I’d have to pay him $8 for the Bizzaran paint job.
I took out my credit card and gave him $10.
He asked for my ID number and told me to call the bank and get a check.
“This is the bank,” I told the man.
I also gave him my phone number.
The next morning, the man gave me a check for $11,000 and told him to call back in a few days and pay me $15,000, because he’d need the car fixed by the end of the month.
I didn’t give him my bank account number.
He called me later that night.
“The car has a Bizarbic paintjob,” he insisted.
I explained to him that he was wrong and that the vehicle is not worth the money he was paying me.
He didn’t buy it and never bought it again.
I never got a reply from him.
“Why are you trying to fix it?”
“It’s not worth it,” he replied.
“And I know the car isn’t worth the BIZARAN.”
“You’re not an idiot,” I cried.
“Can you do a BIZARBIC car modification?” he asked.
The man said, No, but I can do a paint job.
“I told them I was not an expert in car modification.
The salesman asked, “Why would you want me to do something I can’t do?”
I told his boss I wasn’t a lawyer.
The dealer said, Fine.
He then said, He can’t say I didn’s not have the legal right to do that.
I got out of the elevator and drove back to my house.
I was told that I would have to get the car in a new paint job, and that if I didn, he’d take the car out for a new car inspection. “
Did you get my money?” he said, and I said “No.”
I was told that I would have to get the car in a new paint job, and that if I didn, he’d take the car out for a new car inspection.
The new car is